So, I've been reading Sober Intoxication of the Spirit by Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, who serves as preacher to the papal household (he also spoke at Franciscan University the year I graduated! Check it out here). This book is really wonderful! I highly recommend it. I'll be honest, though: I opened it up today, saw that the next chapter was titled "Repent, and You Will Receive the Gift of the Holy Spirit," and thought to myself: "Shoot. If I read this, I'm going to have to go to Confession. Dang it."
Luckily, the Holy Spirit was poking my heart (how irritating, right?), so I read it anyway. And I'm so glad for that little divine push, because it was incredible! (You probably figured that out, because otherwise I wouldn't be writing this at the moment.) Soooooo, in case you are also needing a little push out the door and toward Jesus' mercy today, I'd just like to share a few passages with you that struck me in particular; maybe the HS would like to use them on your heart, too:
"The real metanoia, that is, change, occurs when we abandon our way of thinking and receive God's way of thinking, when we put aside, our judgment and take on God's judgment. This is where the leap occurs. To repent means to take a running leap into the abyss of God's judgment! His judgments, says one of the psalms, 'are like the great deep' (Psalm 36:6)."
At this point, you may be like, YIKES! Um, I don't want to take a "running leap into the abyss of God's judgment! That sounds crazy and scary and bad!" But he continues on:
"When this happens, a person begins to see his or her life and sins from within God's heart, and then things change. Seen in the light of the immense love of the Father, sin appears for what it truly is: a betrayal of His immense love, 'crucifying again the Son of God and... holding him up to contempt' (see Hebrews 6:6)."
When we see through God's eyes, all of our sins are seen against the backdrop of the Father's "immense love" for us, and how we've rejected His heart. We are not taking a "running leap" into an angry judgment, but one that will purify us, wash us "white as snow," and bring us back into the loving arms of Jesus Christ.
"How could I get free? I was immediately aware that I could not destroy [my sin] by my will because it was precisely there - in my will. A new love was born in me for the blood of Christ then..."
As the song goes, "What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus."
This judgment is truly a part of His divine mercy. It is a gift to us. And on top of that, another beautiful thing: repentance is our gift to Him:
"God's omnipotence is not enough to make a contrite heart. He can make the heavens and the earth, but He cannot, by Himself, make a contrite and humble heart. 'The one who created you without your consent will not save you without your consent!' Augustine said. He needs our free wills!"
"'A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise!' (see Psalm 51:17). God surely does not despise a broken and contrite heart, because for Him that is the precious pearl, the hidden treasure. Do you want to give God a gift? The best gift there is? One that would fill Him with joy? Let Him find a contrite heart within you!"
"To offer this gift to God is not hard. Let us present ourselves to Him during a moment of profound meditation and say to Him, 'Lord, I don't know myself; I don't know what my responsibilities are, what my real sins are or even to what point I failed concerning the unity of your body. No one knows what my part is in all this, neither friends nor enemies. There is only one in the whole universe who knows the truth about me, and it is you, Lord. You are righteous in your words and in your judgments. I accept your judgment about me!'"
"And so let us thank the Lord. Let us say with Micah: 'What God is as great as You who forgives sins? You have created the heavens and the earth; You have done great things, but nothing as great as this: You cast our sins into the depths of the sea (see Micah 7:18-19)."
"Yes, Lord, what God is like you? We thank you for Christ who, on the cross, has destroyed our sin! We thank you because you have drawn all men to Him. We thank you because you now pour out on Jerusalem, on your people, a mighty stream of grace and consolation. Amen."
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