Redefining "Normal"

If you and I are friends, chances are we've talked about evangelization and/or catechesis and/or ministry and/or parish life before! To be quite honest, I can't go more than a day or two without talking, reading or thinking about it - which can sometimes include some complaining, letting go of my frustrations, and overall just banging my head against a wall. This is sometimes accompanied by shouts of "Let's throw a wrecking ball into the current structures!!!! Subvert the dominant paradigm!!!!!" That part in particular is a lot of fun, and it gets my frustration out (yes, I am a dork. A dorky, Catholic, dorky, catechetical, dorky, theological, dorky dorky dorky dork). Such rants are also sometimes followed by Confession, so that I can throw a wrecking ball into my pride instead (Father, I started thinking that I know how EVERYTHING should be done in the Church again... crap. Mea culpa). 

My current food for thought is called Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell. I've been highlighting up a storm! However, there is one overarching concept in the book that I am very much struck by:

WE ARE NOT NORMAL.

We aren't! In the sense of what a Catholic community should be, the majority of parishes in 'Murica are simply not what they should be. What are we talking about here? Sherry's statement really packed a punch for me:

"A Church that understands itself as possessing the 'fullness of the means of grace' must yearn for the fullness of the manifestation of that grace."

In other words, what do we expect? My pastor is really big on the idea of expectations: getting across to parishioners what we require of them, and not being soft about said requirements. While that initially rubbed me wrong, I eventually realized that this isn't being inflexible - this is calling on God's people to a higher standard! Herein lies the crux: do we expect Jesus to change lives? Do we realize that the treasures we have in the Church can actually bear fruit? If we did, I think that we would approach everything differently.

As Catholic parishes, what is our job? I would say that it is to evangelize our communities, and to form those who are being evangelized (probably written down in more awesome words by a Pope or two somewhere). Yet, according to Weddell's book, "Asked whether spreading the faith was a high priority of their parishes, 75 percent of conservative Protestant congregations and 57 percent of African-American congregations responded affirmatively, whereas only 6 percent of Catholic parishes did the same."

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! (About to start head-banging rant... pulling back to constructive thinking...)

Here's the thing, Sherry says. Catholics don't talk about their faith (shocker)! They don't talk about their conversion experiences, they don't talk about their personal relationship with Jesus - often, they don't even know that they can have this relationship in the first place! However, to quote a famous Catholic guy:  

"But how can they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how can they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone to preach?" (Romans 10:14).

To paraphrase: how the heck is anyone supposed to learn how to follow Christ, if no one around them is following Christ, living our their baptismal call to be a priest, prophet and king??

Yeah, I just went there.

It was a huge eye-opener for me in college when I learned that "The Church exists in order to evangelize" (Evangelii Nuntiandi). Did you catch that? Exists in order to evangelize... as in, the whole purpose of the Catholic Church is to bring people to Jesus. It's not to do good works, although that is essential. It's not to run a bunch of programs, although we do need structures. It's not to keep the teenagers busy, so they don't get into trouble somewhere else (sorry, had to throw that one in there!). The purpose of the Church is to evangelize - to preach the Good News of salvation! If we're not spreading the faith, what are we doing?

As Sherry says, "Widespread neglect of the interior journey of discipleship has unintentionally fostered an immense chasm between what the Church teaches is normal and what many Catholics in the pews have learned to regard as normal. Many lifelong Catholics have never seen personal discipleship lived overtly or talked about in an explicit manner in their family or parish. It is difficult to believe in and live something that you have never heard anyone else talk about or seen anyone else live. It is also very difficult to openly hold a minority opinion or speak of a minority experience in the midst of a group that does not understand."

What if this describes our parishes, the very places where Catholics should be able to find people that understand their passion for Jesus Christ? It is a tragedy if a faithful Catholic, striving to be a saint, is the minority among their parish - or worse, even among the parish leadership.

Every person is supposed to be a disciple, not just those who are "really into that stuff" or "too religious." As Weddell says, many people think there exist "two basic spiritual 'tracks': 'ordinary Catholic' and 'saint.'" I read that and I thought, YES! So many people do think that way. I want to follow Jesus... but I don't want to do that one thing that makes me uncomfortable. I want to go to heaven... but I don't want the Church to tell me what to do in my personal life. I like belonging to St. So-and-So Parish, but I'm not like those crazy people who are really into it. I just want to be a nice person, and going to church makes me feel like I'm doing good things. Etc. etc. etc.

I think we need to spread the concept that being Catholic = trying to be a saint! Following Jesus Christ = striving for holiness, and sometimes being a little weird in the world's eyes! You can't go half-way... it's all or nothin'. We allow for weaknesses, of course; but the point is to be striving.

In our own parishes, we need to create a culture where this is "normal." Church should be a place where it is safe to be totally sold out for Christ, a place where we can go when we're weary from the world's nagging and teasing and criticism. How to create this culture is a constant discussion, and the task belongs to the creativity and insights of Catholics everywhere... but it needs to happen.

Sherry talks about how in the early 90's, she and some friends got together and decided to come up with a support group for lay Catholics. They drew up a mission statement, which included this excerpt:


Our Values
It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to have a living, growing love relationship with God.
It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to be knowledgeable about their faith, the Scriptures, the doctrinal and moral teachings of the Church, and the history of the Church.
It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to know what their charisms of service are and to be using them effectively in the fulfillment of their vocation or call in life.
It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to know that they have a vocation/mission in life (primarily in the secular world) given to them by God. It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to be actively engaged in discerning and living this vocation.
It is NORMAL for lay Catholics to have the fellowship of other committed lay Catholics available to them, to encourage, nurture, and discern as they attempt to follow Jesus.
It is NORMAL for the local parish to function consciously as a house of formation for lay Catholics, which enables and empowers lay Catholics to do #1-6 above.


It seems like we need to redefine "normal," eh?

To Be, or Not To Be (Yourself).

So I found this on the interwebs today:

Gotta love a good Papa Benny quote! But I started thinking... gosh, that's a lot to ask! It's like saying, be happy... but not so much that you're obnoxious! Do your homework... but don't mess up! I'd like an order of french fries... but only the long ones, no little stubby ones please!

And so I wonder, how the heck am I supposed to do that without sticking my fingers in the hot grease and getting burned, hmm? (It's a metaphor, just go with it.)

At any rate, even though I was slightly confused about how to apply this to my life, I was highly inspired. Then I remembered of one of my favorite quotes from St. Paul:

"Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law—though I myself am not under the law—to win over those under the law. To those outside the law I became like one outside the law—though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ—to win over those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it" -1 Corinthians 9:19-23

This happens to be one of my life goals - as a youth minister, of course, but also as a Catholic woman trying to participate daily in the New Evangelization.

It has boggled my mind before... how am I supposed to be "all things to all"? Certainly, I don't want to become a teenager. I like being a young adult! I'm a whole lot more confident, a whole lot less angsty, and God has done a lot of work with me since I was in my teens. I don't actually want to be a teen.

And in terms of the temperaments, I really don't want to be choleric, either. I admire their leadership and their drive, but I also know they are prone to walk all over people if they're not careful. Yeah, that's just not me...

Likewise, I don't want to be a man. I don't feel like I have to elaborate on this... I like being a woman perfectly fine, thank you, and the very idea of not being feminine is just weird.

So what does "all things to all" really mean, then?

Because I really want the lost to get found, kinda like this...

...and I think that St. Paul is on to something (I mean, it's in the Bible, so he must be).

As I mulled over this, I went back to the Pope Benedict quote in the meme above, particularly the last line: "Enter into dialogue with everyone, but remain yourselves."

Ohhhhhhhh.

The classic Catholic "both-and." Which happens to be related to Aristotle's "golden mean," I think. Basically, don't go to one extreme or the other. That's how heresies start... e.g., Jesus is BOTH God AND man. If you get rid of one or the other: oops. Heresy!

So anyway, youth ministry as an example. We love teens where they're at, walk with them, step inside their world, try to bring the Gospel to them through inculturation, etc., but we don't act like them or go back to being a teenager ourselves. We are a much better witness if we don't pretend to be someone else... but we can't stay in our own little worlds, either. If I avoided teens like the plague, I'd be an awful youth minister.

Both-and. Golden mean.

In Blessed Mother Teresa's case, she and her sisters embraced the poverty of those around them. They kept being amazing, authentic Catholic religious (they didn't venture into Hinduism to "relate"), but they weren't afraid to walk side by side with those around them. Both-and. Not snubbing people, but not compromising their faith either: golden mean.

Both balanced and radical. Bam.

(Has anyone else noticed that if you say "bam," after a statement, it just gives it that extra oomph?)

So basically, I'm allowed to be a phlegmatic, feminine youth minister and young adult. And you are also allowed to be who God created you to be (gosh, it took me a lot of words to get to this simple conclusion, didn't it?).

Yet we also have to "enter into dialogue with everyone" and be "all things to all." I still don't have this all figured out. But I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited to see all of us learn how to live this tension, win the world for Christ, and become saints!

Bam.