How to Be An Internet Grown-Up

I work with young people. And I'm the official 20-something of the church office staff. Ergo... everybody asks me about social media! You know, the Tweeters and BookFace and all that stuff the young'uns are doing these days. Lolz. Except to be fair, no one actually asks me questions like that. ;) As it turns out, more and more adults are getting on social media all the time!

But still, I'm a bit more fluent than the average 60 year old; no judgment, it's just how the generation gap rolls. So I still do get a lot of questions... and hey, since you asked, I have some opinions!

(Just fyi, I'm not hold back any punches today... get your helmet on! Ready? Okay, let's do this.)

This is the main thing I would like to cry from the rooftops: if you're a grown up, be a grown-up! Yes, you can be young at heart, you can still have fun in life, blah, blah, blah, etc. etc. etc. I love fun... just ask my friends! I'm a youth minister, for crying out loud! But if you're going to be a role model for young people - and I promise, you probably are - and you're going to be online - which, if you're reading this, you clearly are - then be a role model.

(By the way, this really applies to all of your behaviors, not just in the social media world (see 2 Maccabees 6:18-31 and Matthew 18:6). But we'll stick to the interwebs for now.)

I'm quite tired of seeing adults post complaints, gossip, and all sorts of other immaturity on Facebook and Twitter. We have a responsibility to our youth, and I'm just not going to stand around while we tank it. There is sooooooooo much emotional immaturity in the world... why are we encouraging it??

Think about it this way. If you were giving a kid drugs, that would be really unhealthy and bad (that's like Grown-Up 101). So why is it okay to teach them to be emotionally unhealthy?

And don't say that it's because you're trying to "relate" to them. Again, note the drugs example. (Feel free to bop yourself in the forehead at this point and say "duh.")

So, no matter what religion you practice or don't practice, no matter whether you're 25 or 75, I think it's time to quit it. Not just for our own sakes (which would be reason enough!) but for our youth. Because if we don't want them to grow up to be like us, that's a problem (read that again, think it through). Yes? Who's with me?

...to start acting like an adult online! (Because there had to be a cliche Uncle Sam poster involved.)

And just in case you're on board with me... I've composed a nifty pledge you can take, to help the war effort! (The war against internet awfulness!) It goes like this:

The Internet Grown-Up Club Pledge

As a member of the supposedly more mature part of humanity, I recognize that I have a responsibility to the young people around me. I therefore make the following pledge:

1. I will not use social media in order to gossip, complain, or stir up scandal. 

(Please note, there is a difference between sharing an opinion and complaining. Sharing your opinion and actually using your critical thinking skills = awesome. We need more real thinkers in the world today. Whining and being annoying, however... no.)

2. I will not post anything online that would lead a young person astray. (This includes pictures.) If someone else tags me in something that would lead a young person to believe that inappropriate or dangerous behavior is acceptable, I will untag myself. I will kindly but firmly ask the person who posted such a status/picture/etc. to delete it. And then I will make an effort to not do such behaviors again in real life.

3. I will not use the internet for my own emotional problems. Instead, I will take serious matters to a friend, family member, counselor, priest, and/or God.

4. I will not post online for attention. I will fill my emotional needs with healthy, family/friend relationships.

5. I refuse to subtweet.

(Subtweeting means that you post about a particular person or issue, but you try to make it vague and general. Usually, everyone still knows that you're talking about someone specific... and they usually know who it is. For instance: "Teenage parents need to take responsibility for their actions; life isn't all fun and games anymore." Or, "Ex-husbands need to remember that their ex-wives still have feelings." In those statements, I'm pretty sure that you're talking about someone specific, right?? Be honest.)

5a. I will not post something online in order to "fix" another person. If I find myself about to post a link, status, etc., that is specifically meant for one person to see, in order that they will change their behavior, I will stop myself and not go through with it.

5b. I will not post something on the internet to berate or bully another person.

(Yes, adults can be cyberbullies, too.)

5c. If I have a complaint about a specific person, organization, etc., I will communicate this concern through the proper channels.
(For instance: I have seen people post complaints online about our parish, when a simple phone call to the office would have cleared the whole issue up. It's usually a genuine miscommunication or misunderstanding. If you post about it online, then you've spread that miscommunication, not to mention lots of negativity and drama, to more people!)

6. Before I put something online, I will ask myself: "If the whole world saw this, would I be okay with it?"

7. If I have violated any of the above, I will delete those posts/pictures/links/quotes/etc.

8. I will not live in the online world more than I live in the real world. I will not post every single thing I do via social media.

9. If I can't seem to stop myself from these behaviors, I will take a break from social media until I can!

I, __________, hereby pledge to stop making the internet ridiculously unhealthy, petty, and immature. By my presence, I will make the online world a more constructive, joyful, good, healthy place to be.

A couple of notes:

1) This is not an exhaustive list of immature/just plain bad online behavior. It's just a few things that I've noticed. (Let me know if there's something else you think I should add!)

2) Younger people, not yet adults, can also join on this bandwagon of internet maturity... why not? The more you can avoid having emotional issues, the better and happier you will be!

3) Don't actually make a room full of people stand up and pledge this. (Then I would feel bad about making you all go through a super-cheesy ritual.) Just make the decision within yourself (and maybe with some friends!) that you're going to be an awesome, emotionally mature, role-model worthy adult.

"No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.... All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ." -Ephesians 4:29, 31-32 

"Don't Mess Up"

Ever since catechetics classes in college (CCC - pun totally intended), I've been intrigued by the idea of "the question behind the question." For instance, when someone asks, "Why can't women become priests?" they may actually be asking, "Why does the Catholic Church think I have less brains then men?" When you hear "Why won't the Church allow same-sex marriage?" the real question might be, "Why would you think God hates my best friend/brother/mom?" Etc., etc., etc. It's always a good idea to not just pay attention to the words you hear, but think about what might be motivating those words. Don't just address the question at face value; go deeper, and address the heart of the matter at hand. #goodpastoralprinciples #catecheticsforthewin

I've recently been thinking about this idea of a deeper meaning behind our words. I work in a church office, which is... uh... interesting! Amazing, fantastic, a blessing... but I will be the first to say, we are quite normal, with our own personal sins and flaws. One of those awful realities that we fall into in the Church, as sinners, is *drumroll for the awfulness*... gossip.

"Why didn't so-and-so understand that she had to ___ (jump through x, y, and z hoop)? Now she ____ (sin worthy of the Antichrist)!"

"So-and-so forgot to ____ (task so dumb that a dog could do it)! I asked her if she knew what she was doing, and she said she did, so I just believed her... then we all had to cover for her!"

"I can't believe they were late with their paperwork AGAIN! No one ever looks at the deadlines, no matter how many times I remind them."

Believe me, I'm guilty of this sort of complaining myself. But I've been thinking recently... what do these complaining, gossipy statements actually saying? What's the message behind the message?

"If you mess up, everyone will hear about it and complain about you behind your back. So don't mess up."

"If you're not perfect, we don't want to deal with you."

"My deadline is the most important thing in your life... why can't you see that?"

I'm not advocating that we encourage bad habits and irresponsibility, or that we can't stick to the rules when need be, or that we have to become human doormats. That's swinging over to the other extreme. But in a Church based on the mercy and redemption coming from Jesus Christ, what are we actually communicating to others? On a basic human level, if we're afraid of the judgment of our brothers and sisters in Christ, how much trust can we really have in each other? How much of a real relationship is actually possible? Do we have each others' backs, or do we lash out behind their backs?

I'll be honest... I started coming to this conclusion in the moments when I'm the one who messed up. I realize the value of being gracious to people, mostly because I'm in need of grace. And it's gone both ways for me... the vast majority of the time, I'm given way more generosity and leniency than I deserve. On the other hand, there are those times I've heard whispers in the halls (and loud declarations, as well!), and it makes me more conscious of my own speech. Would I always be okay with people overhearing my conversations? Do I really need to emphasize another person's mistake, so that everyone realizes that "they" did it, and that I'm perfectly innocent, responsible, and that I have my act together? (Because let's just get real... anyone who's been in my office and seen my desk knows that I don't have it all together!) Would it really be that hard to move on without making that snide comment, rolling my eyes, or otherwise drawing attention to another person's flaws? What if I spread grace, joy and peace wherever I went, instead? I'm guessing that's what Our Lady did!

I've seen people get disheartened over the fact that the Church is made up of sinners, and I'm not trying to do that here. Instead, I just want to encourage you all that when it comes to fallen humanity, there is hope (hey-o, Advent)! Things don't have to be like they are. Christ came to redeem every part of us, including our relationships. Today, let's allow him to do that.

The Joy of the Gospel!

Alright, everybody... stop what you're doing and read Pope Francis' new Apostolic Exhortation, Evangelii Gaudium! That is all. Just do it!

**Update: I found this article by Brandon Vogt to be helpful, because it gives a little bit of historical context and explanation! You might want to look over it before you read the document itself.

**Update #2: This thing is long! You may need to pace yourself. I've personally still got about 120 paragraphs to go. So worth it, though! 

"The great danger in today’s world, pervaded as it is by consumerism, is the desolation and anguish born of a complacent yet covetous heart, the feverish pursuit of frivolous pleasures, and a blunted conscience. Whenever our interior life becomes caught up in its own interests and concerns, there is no longer room for others, no place for the poor. God’s voice is no longer heard, the quiet joy of his love is no longer felt, and the desire to do good fades. This is a very real danger for believers too. Many fall prey to it, and end up resentful, angry and listless. That is no way to live a dignified and fulfilled life; it is not God’s will for us, nor is it the life in the Spirit which has its source in the heart of the risen Christ.

"I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day. No one should think that this invitation is not meant for him or her, since “no one is excluded from the joy brought by the Lord”. The Lord does not disappoint those who take this risk; whenever we take a step towards Jesus, we come to realize that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms. Now is the time to say to Jesus: “Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in a thousand ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my covenant with you. I need you. Save me once again, Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace”. How good it feels to come back to him whenever we are lost!" 

(Evangelii Gaudium 2-3)

"Come Take a Good Look at the Bottom of My Boot..."

So I've mentioned this song before, but I ran across this video the other day and I thought I'd share!

Seriously, can you even handle this level of cuteness??

Besides the fact that this song pretty much already beats Satan up lyrically, I bet this happy, lovey video makes him even madder. Extra victory!! So, feel free to watch on repeat all afternoon. ;)

A Thirst for the Incarnate

Last week, a lovely article entitled "18 Things Everyone Should Start Making Time For Again" was making the rounds amongst some friends of mine. I read it, thought it was perfect (minus one subtle suggestion that there might be a time and a place for drunkenness - but we will overlook that one minor flaw in a sea of perfection), and therefore shared it on my own Facebook wall.

As a side note (sorry, we're taking a detour already!), can I just say that, not feeling comfortable with using both "perfect" and "perfection" in that last sentence, I Googled the definition of "perfection" and found this?

a person or thing perceived as the embodiment of perfection.

"I am told that she is perfection itself"

synonyms:

the ideal, a paragon, the ne plus ultra, a nonpareil, the crème de la crème, the last word, the ultimate, the best; informalone in a million, the tops, da bomb; dated,the bee's knees, the cat's meow/pajamas/whiskers "for him, she was still perfection"

Huh-larious, no? Next time I shall use "crème de la crème" or "da bomb." By the way... am I the only one who thinks that Google needs to chill with the special days of celebration? I miss the days of the basic Google, in all its blue, red, yellow and green-lettered glory. These days, it's as if we have mandated celebrations, practically daily, of the birthday of every obscure famous person and the anniversary of their obscure, albeit apparently important to their field, work! (I realize that "obscure famous" is sort of an oxymoron, but just go with it. Life is a paradox.) It used to be special to see a nifty little animated Google hompage, decorated for the day's event; now it's simply normal and confusing. Bring back the magic, Google! Celebrate real holidays! Or at least, include some saints! (Sorry about all this... I have had a beef with Google ever since they changed the definition of the word "literally" to mean, literally, "not literally." Check it out here. But despite my pent-up personal issues with the world's most famous search engine, I still probably use it 5,682 times a day. Ah well.)

Back to the wonderful article about eighteen lovely things! After I shared it, I was struck by how several others were sharing it and liking it, and seemingly struck by it as well. And they weren't all Franciscan girls in love with Jane Austen and accustomed to regular coffee dates with household sisters, either. I'm used to talking about such things with that sort of crowd; I identify with handwritten letters, good conversation and cookie-baking. That's kinda my scene, you know? My friends own tea-sets. But this article didn't only pique the interest of those particular friends!

(Update: Google has slightly redeemed itself. The sample sentence for the word "struck," when I was looking for a synonym, is "Lucy was struck by the ethereal beauty of the scene." Very nice, Google dictionary people. You get one point back.)

What is so striking to me is that it's nearly universally acknowledged that we are losing a sense of presence, culture, and humanity. How often do you have a conversation with someone about everyone always being on their phone, over-sharing their personal business on Facebook, constantly taking a picture for Instagram instead of actually enjoying the beauty before our very eyes? At least in my life, the topic comes up all the time! No one gasps when you bring up the thought that we spend too much time online, or that we all feel so super crazy busy and wish we didn't. More or less, everyone agrees!

And everyone continues to thirst.

For presence. For culture. For beauty. For real, incarnate humanity, in all its tangible goodness.

We are all thirsting for reality.

A few weeks ago, I was going through a very stressful, busy period; so was a dear friend of mine. We had both been so on edge, and not particularly present to each other, when something dawned on me. "I don't think God wants us to live this way," I suddenly thought. "I think Jesus wants more for us." And doesn't he? Didn't he make us to be genuinely free, truly human, full of beauty and grace? Ready at all times to love, to really see the other person in front of us.

What does it say about our culture, that reading a real book, writing a real letter, listening to music instead of making it mere background music to our multi-tasking, making a true commitment, thinking before responding to others, and just taking time to be with people are all seen as unreachable ideals? Beautiful, of course; our grandparents once knew these arts in the past, but sigh, things that no one has time for anymore and that we can never truly recover. Sigh, sigh. Like those little wispy clouds that you wish you could float around in, but that it's probably not possible to reach and experience for yourself (does anyone else wish this, besides me? Also, if you take a hot air balloon ride, can you play in the clouds? Just curious). At any rate, we all seem to be wistfully longing for something past, something better than what we have now. Yes? Do you sense this, too?

So, here's the sitch, as I see it (Kim Possible reference, yes ma'am):

On one hand, we have gotten ourselves into quite a cultural predicament, up in hurrr (this phrase is another example of the degeneration of culture... ha, ha).

On the other hand, this is so extremely hopeful!!! Let me explain.

When we all have a common longing, that is an incredible opportunity! If everyone wants ice cream, for instance, it's a perfect time to bring out the banana splits! If we are all longing for presence, thought, art, and incarnate reality (aka Jesus Christ)... this is the perfect entry point into the human heart! People are actually receptive to this stuff!!

Ergo, I'm pretty excited.

Just like Surprise Party Sue... I'm so freakin' excited!!!

The great thing about all of these things is  that they are tangible, concrete, not out of our reach at all! We can sit down and write a letter to a friend; we can intentionally make time to listen to music, and just appreciate it; we can actually stand outside and look at the sky and marvel at its unique beauty for a while! We can all sit down and actually take time to really, genuinely pray.

I'm not even going to pretend to tackle the whole issue of technology, being overly busy, lack of real art and culture, etc., in our world today; it's way too big for my little brain. But I do know this: it's time! Let's go! If the people we know are thirsting for a reclaimed humanity, let's start making the decisions and commitments it takes to put beauty and presence back into our lives.

I heard a story on the radio yesterday about a restaurant owner who is doing his own small, super creative part! Check it out... he is offering his customers a 50% discount on their meals if they agree to one small thing: to turn off their phones during their dining experience! Isn't that incredible? In one restaurant, in one little corner of the world, this guy is making an effort to reclaim personal relationships, to get people back in touch with humanity. I think he is awesome!

So, in the spirit of all this incarnational awesomeness, I have one last thought. Advent is coming up... the season of preparing for Christ, the fullness of true humanity, the Incarnation Himself! What if, for Advent, we tried to be more present as well? For instance (and I can't take credit for this idea), what if we decided to write a letter each day of Advent? Or really, any of the 18 items on that list... or, make up your own list! Whatever floats your boat. But what if, while we are preparing to celebrate Jesus taking on humanity, we became more human, too?

A Tribute

To all the people in my life who make me laugh:

(No, nothing to do with The Hunger Games! Sorry if the title misled you.)

You keep me moving, alive and persevering: you keep me sane. You generously wield the ability to turn a horrible, mildly bad, or even just bland day around for me, without even knowing it. Making fun of me and/or just spouting off some silly, nonsensical ridiculousness makes me feel happy and very well-loved (kind of similar to keeping a plant well-watered, or a rabbit well-fed). So thanks for contributing to the cause! I appreciate you letting Jesus use you to love me. :)

I know that I may put an inordinate amount of importance on a sense of humor, fun, wit and clever comedic timing. I don't mean to, but thanks for indulging me! I apologize if I've ever made you feel like you have to be funny to be my friend... but it's only partially true! It just so happens that I think God made us all a little weird and quirky and funny, so I simply do my best to bring out the best of it in you! It's a gift (maybe). Oh, and if ever I'm laughing at you, don't be insulted; it's one of my highest compliments, truly. 

I do understand that Christian joy is different than mere fun or a sense of humor... but they can intertwine, yes? It takes humility to laugh at yourself. So you're just helping me grow in holiness! ;) 

Thank you for keeping me from taking myself too seriously! And thank you for helping me to see, when I'm in a funk you may not even know about, that things really aren't that bad. Hopefully, some time or another, I can do the same for you.

"Do not be saddened this day, for rejoicing in the LORD must be your strength!" -Nehemiah 8:10

Mmmmmmmm

I've recently realized how much I like to cook. If you're my friend, you probably already knew that, and are wondering why I didn't see something so obvious about myself! The thing is, I've always known that I liked it... I just didn't realize how much! My aunt and uncle were visiting the other day, and they commented on all of my different kitchen gadgets (and how when I move someday, I probably won't have enough counter space for them all). There's just something so stress-relieving about coming up with a delicious, creative dinner! 

One of my big things is trying to make food unique. While I do eat a lot of the same things over and over, or at least tend to buy the same ingredients, I find a special little joy in putting a twist on a meal to make it something different. Google is my friend - a lot of times I'll have an idea, but not really know the best way to make it. The interwebs helps! ;) We be in the twenty-first century. So let's take advantage of it, right?

I thought I'd share some successes with you, in case you're looking for a new idea! (I'm always looking, so please share your own!) None of these are very hard or take too long, because I'm kind of leery about trying elaborate recipes that take all day, unless I really have an appetite for something. Plus, I'm not good at planning ahead, so I make up a lot of things on the spot, when my tummy is like "HUNGRY! NOW!" A lot of these tips also are specifically for those of you who are cooking for one (or maybe two)... if that's you, you know the struggles, so I don't have to elaborate on that any more. 

Anyway, here they be: 

1. Vodka sauce (and other pasta ideas).

Take your ordinary spaghetti sauce, and make it awesome! You could just buy a vodka sauce pre-made in a jar. But living by myself, it takes multiple meals to eat through one jar, so I might as well use a normal sauce in different ways!

I stumbled upon how to do this by accident. Obviously, you heat up the basic sauce and add vodka. But I knew there was more involved. When I looked up a recipe online, it called for heavy cream, which I didn't have at the time (among other things). I did have a sweet, creamy vidalia onion salad dressing, though! So I experimented with that and voila! Delish. Don't be weirded out; if I hadn't told you, you'd eat it and love it and never know I put salad dressing in your sauce. Anyway, that's what I mean about just experimenting with what you've got! You may come up with a breakthrough. (If you're going to try it, a little dressing goes a long way, just FYI.)

I've been experimenting with tofu a little, too, and this is what I like to do when I'm adding it to pasta with this sauce (or even just straight-up spaghetti sauce): press it for a while to get the water out, then marinate in soy sauce (I know, I know, it sounds like we're mixing Chinese and Italian. Just trust me). "Bread" it in cornstarch and cook in a little olive oil on the stove until browned. Add to already saucy pasta! And if you want to mix it up a little more, add some steamed veggies to the mix (I like to add a broccoli/cauliflower/carrot mix). Maybe that sounds weird to you. But hey, I'm the kid who brought leftover sauerkraut and mashed potatoes to school for lunch, so whatevs. ;)

2. Coconut chicken and mango salsa.

Seriously. 

Defrost chicken. Beat an egg. Dip chicken in egg, then roll in coconut. Cook in oil on the stove until both sides are golden, then bake in the oven until cooked through (like 10 min). 

Take a jar of mango salsa (there are recipes for it online, but hey, I already had it in the fridge because I'm on a specialty salsa kick). Mix it up with some corn, then heat it up.

I made rice and steamed broccoli for sides. Oh! And I took a wheat tortilla, ripped it into strips, and fried it in the leftover oil from the chicken, for homemade soft-ish tortilla chips.

Pull the chicken out of the oven, put it on the rice, and pour the salsa over it. Mmmmmm. Dip your chips in the salsa, too. To finish off the perfection, drink a piña colada with it (I happened to have one in my freezer already; those drinks in a pouch that you can find at Walmart or wherever). 

3. Salads!!!

Salads are the best, because you can do whatever you want to them. No matter what you have in your kitchen, it can probably be made into a salad. One of my favorites is spring mix, craisins and crumbly feta cheese. Whatever dressing you want! And seriously, if you ever get salads at Wendy's, McDonald's, etc, and they give you more than one packet of dressing, save it for later! Or if your friends or coworkers don't want their extras, steal those. Living alone means it takes me for-ev-er to go through a whole bottle of salad dressing. So if I want variety, I gotta be thinking. 

4. Smoothies. 

See salads. Many, many things in your kitchen can be made into smoothies! Just make sure you always have ice in the freezer, some sort of fruit, and either milk, yogurt or juice. Be creative. Go nuts. 

5. Healthy ice cream.

Yeah, you got that right. I'm SO happy I stumbled upon this tip. Just freeze a banana (peeled and in pieces), and blend it up with a little milk. Really, that's it! Apparently food processors work best for this, but I have woeful luck with those (my family destroyed one, my household lost the other). It's basically a smoothie, but I think it really does taste like ice cream! 

You can make this totally not healthy by adding other ingredients. My favorite is "German chocolate." You can probably figure it out yourself, but you add coconut and chocolate in some form (syrup or hot fudge). Also, peanut butter is a good add! 

6. Pizza bread.

Go to Walmart and peruse the discount bakery. Find some kind of bread (freeze whatever you're not going to use right away; it's on the discount shelf for a reason! You don't want it to go bad). Now slice it, butter it, and top with cheese. Toaster oven until brown and bubbly! Dip in warm sauce (for me, it would be that same jar of sauce we started with, haha). 

7. Granola!

Oats, coconut, a little oil, honey, a sprinkle of cinnamon. Put foil on a baking sheet, then spread the mix out on the sheet. Bake at 350 for about 25 min, but MAKE SURE you stir it every 5 min or so, or you'll kill it. As soon as it's very light golden brown, it's done. Add in the dried fruit of your choosing while it's still hot (I'm all about the craisins!). 

Eat with milk like a cereal, or put it in your yogurt! I like to be doubly domestic and eat it with homemade yogurt, which I've strained overnight through coffee filters to make it more of a Greek yogurt style. 

Speaking of yogurt: buy or make it plain, then add different things in! Different jams, honey, fruits, etc. Similar to the "one jar of sauce becomes many" concept. 

8. Grilled veggies.

Again, anything in your fridge you need to get rid of! Chop veggies, put in ziplock bag. Pour in a little oil and any seasonings you like! Mix up well, pour onto cookie sheet covered in foil (no mess). Bake at 400 or so, until veggies are cooked through. Definitely flip them at least once so they don't burn. 

9. Go to Google. Search "what to make with ____" (whatever you have too much of in the fridge that's about to go bad).

I have found many new ideas that way! Like a squash/sausage/egg scramble... random, but great! And I found that banana "ice cream" idea by searching "what to make with old bananas besides bread" - I was in a rut. 

10. Other things I like to have on hand all the time (mental shopping list).

Tortillas - for many different burrito/wrap possibilities! Even for breakfast.

Applesauce - makes a great side for lots of meals. I get it unsweetened and plain, because it's better for you. And you can always add brown sugar or cinnamon for a treat (heat it up on a cold day, mmmm).

Potatoes - mashed, grilled, etc. And then you can take the leftovers and turn them into potato pancakes! Keep them somewhere cool and dark (I put them in the fridge, which maybe is weird) and they'll last a long time.

Cheese - you will want to add it to something. You really just will... Out of nowhere you'll think, "This would be perfect with cheese!" I like to keep one white and one yellow, just to have my bases covered.  

Also:

Milk

A juice of some sort - plus lemon juice, for cooking 

Veggies - something fresh, but also something frozen for when you're in a pinch. Same with fruit.

Lettuce - for those salads

Rice and pasta... So basic, and they just sit there patiently until you want them!

At least one type of meat in the freezer

A can of beans - red or black, usually. Add to burritos, salads, soups, etc.

Bouillon and/or a can of soup - if you're suddenly struck sick and you live by yourself, you may not want to cook, so the premade can is handy (if you're one of those cooking snobs and you always make yours from scratch, don't judge me!) 

Obvious things like eggs, butter, oil, flour, seasonings

I'm not sure at what point I turned this into "how to live alone and cook creatively, by someone in her 20's figuring it out as she goes," haha. But hopefully you don't feel too patronized. Just passing along some tips that have kept me alive and cooking happily! :) Please, I want to hear your wisdom, too! 

Things I Really Like

I know, I know, it's been a while.

But, to appease you (like a pagan god or something), here is a hodge-podge of things I've ran across lately that are legit. So, so legit! Readysetgo...

Watch this testimony from Edmund Mitchell, a great guy I went to school with! It's about an hour long, but really worth it:

He also had this great quote in an interview recently:

"It also reminds me how important it is to continue diving deeper into our faith because there are a lot of well intentioned Catholics who, not having a solid enough foundation in Catholic doctrine, philosophy, history, or catechetics, are answering modern man’s hunger for deep, living waters with sprinkles from a red Solo cup."

Snap. I 100% agree!

Along the lines of more catechetical thing-a-ma-jigs, a friend sent me this great address to catechists by Pope Francis! (Who, by the way, showed up in my dream last night! Win.) I love this, especially:

"It builds up the Church!  To 'be' catechists!  Not to 'work' as catechists: this will not do.  I work as a catechist because I like to teach… But unless you 'are' a catechist, it is no good!  You will not be successful … you will not bear fruit!  Catechesis is a vocation:  'being a catechist', this is the vocation, not working as a catechist.  So keep this in mind: I didn’t say to do the 'work' of catechists, but to 'be' catechists, because this is something that embraces our whole life."

Next, another friend shared this with me on Facebook today, and I am just in love. Don't focus on the picture or text quality... just look at it for a minute and picture it in real life:

Do you not love it?!

(By the way, her feast day is tomorrow. Just sayin'.)

Went to see Torri Harris with some friends at the Josephinum this past weekend, which was lovely! Here is one of her songs... soak in the beauty!

Listening to this song on Saturday morning, it dawned on me just how much God uses the beauty of music to open my heart to Him... I'll be pondering that for a while...

Prayer cards from the concert. Beauty, right?

I definitely recommend that you look up more of her music. And if you ever get a chance to see her live, do it! She's very real, authentic, holy and fun... and her testimony blew me out of the water. All about fear vs. trust and God's calling for your life... plus, JPII showed up in her dreams. I mean, come on. JPII!

I've been listening to this a lot lately, too. Lyrics here.

I'm still getting the "Read the Catechism in a Year" emails every day for the Year of Faith... some days I read it, and some days I throw it in a folder that I've entitled "Still need to read for CCC." (Lazy, I know... once an email gets filed away, I don't know if I'll ever look for it again...) They've been using the YouCat, which I find super helpful for my line of work. ;) Yesterday was paragraph 470, "The Prompting to Pray":

"What prompts a person to pray?
"We pray because we are full of an infinite longing and God has created us men for himself: "Our hearts are restless until they rest in you" (St. Augustine). But we pray also because we need to; Mother Teresa says, "Because I cannot rely on myself, I rely on him, twenty-four hours a day." [2566-2567, 2591]
"Often we forget God, run away from him and hide. Whether we avoid thinking about God or deny him he is always there for us. He seeks us before we seek him; he yearns for us, he calls us. You speak with your conscience and suddenly notice that you are speaking with God. You feel lonely, have no one to talk with, and then sense that God is always available to talk. You are in danger and experience that a cry for help is answered by God. Praying is as human as breathing, eating, and loving. Praying purifies. Praying makes it possible to resist temptations. Praying strengthens us in our weakness. Praying removes fear, increases energy, and gives a second wind. Praying makes one happy."

I thought that was a really good, simple, beautiful, understandable explanation!

Okey dokey... watch/listen/ponder all of that, and then get back to me. :)

(That should buy me some time until my next post, right??)

Keep Going

"Sometimes, the hardest part of a workout is getting up off the floor and into the shower afterward," I thought. I was staring up at the ceiling in my living room, wondering if I in fact had to go into work that morning. 

I've realized that it can actually be really hard to do stuff you like to do (like take a nice shower) because the stuff you have to do (exercise) drains you. Which is really weird. But think about it: after a hard day of work, it's super easy to veg on the couch. It's much harder to get off that couch and work on a home improvement project you're really excited about, try a new recipe, or even call a friend. Because hey, I'm really tired, and why should I have to do anything else today? Didn't I already do a lot of stuff?

And then, on the flip side, the opposite is also hard: buckling down to do boring things after you just finished some awesome, incredible things! After a youth ministry night where it was really evident that God was working, who wants to go into the office in the morning and do paperwork or go to a staff meeting? (Insert a snarky "said no one ever" comment here.) 

Basically, I conclude that life is just really hard sometimes, no matter what. But there's gotta be a life lesson in here somewhere...

I've pondered it a bit, and I think it's the "after" people who rock at life. "Stick-to-it-ive-ness," perseverance, follow-through, whatever you want to call it. It's the people who decide that yesterday's hard work doesn't count for today; that whatever happened in the previous moment doesn't give them excuses for the present; that the world doesn't owe them anything for living life to the full. 

I'll stop going all motivational speaker on you now. Basically - and I'm saying this to myself more than anyone - just get up off the floor. No more excuses. 

What Goes In...

"Garbage in, garbage out," Mom said. Over... and over... and over, throughout my childhood. (Kind of like Dad's favorite phrase: "Repetition is the mother of learning... repetition is the mother of learning... repetition is the mother of learning." Definitely related to the whole "Pete and Re-Pete were on a boat" joke; all eliciting equal amounts of groaning and eye rolling from us kids.)

But, despite the cheese, Mom was right! #youwinmom

I've been realizing something more and more lately: stories form us. They mold the way we think, the way we respond to the situations we face, and the kind of people we want to be. They shape our expectations about life, and our ideas of where true happiness lies. Heck, they even influence our dreams! I've found that, if I can even remember my dream from the night before, I can trace the ideas/situations/people in the dream back to a movie or TV show I watched, a book I read, or a conversation I had. It's actually kind of creepy... but it really is true. And, even though I know we're not responsible for the things we do (or say or think) in our dreams, I've still found that they reveal something about myself (for good or ill).

For instance, I have a friend who regularly has dreams about the saints. That doesn't just randomly happen! What actually happens is that she reads a lot about the saints, thinks about them, and has relationships with them. Their lives are the stories that shape her imagination and capture her heart; she measures her own life - and her ideas about what it means to be truly happy and fulfilled - against theirs.

Personally, I've noticed that the more chick flicks I watch, the less satisfied I am with life. For girls, I think this is probably pretty common! We see a super cute, romantic couple having so much fun together... and then we compare this "perfect" life to our own situations (another trap my mom always warned me about!). 

(Side note: my weakness is Jim and Pam on "The Office." Seriously, so cute. Can't even handle it. But then I remember that they both had mind-numbingly boring jobs, their boss was a freak, and it took about three agonizing years for them to get together, and I feel better.)

Anywhoozles. Basically, I've realized that there's that... and then there's the incredible talks I listen to online by people like Chris Stefanick, Mark Hart, Jackie Francois and Fr. Mike Schmitz (just type any of their names into YouTube and enjoy). There's stuff that I do to "pass the time" and distract myself from reality... and then there are the books, music, movies, etc. that I use to run toward reality, to plunge into it head-on. (I guess you don't plunge with your head; but you get the point.)

I'm not saying, by the way, that fiction is only a distraction. The right stories, whether or not they are "real," can shape us for greatness. Just look at little kids who play make-believe! They want an adventure, to be courageous and amazing, beautiful and kind. The boys want to be knights and the girls want to be Cinderella; no one wants to be the wicked stepsisters!

So, this is my friendly reminder (mostly to myself!) to be aware of what you watch, what you read, who you hang out with, etc. Again, kind of sounds like something that my mom would say to me as a teenager. But if you're a grown-up, no one is going to make you, anymore!

7 Quick Takes Friday - Anticipation Edition!

Let's talk about 7 things I'm looking forward to:

1

This weekend! I'm going to see my family, my friend and her baby, and, as I just found out, a couple friends from western Canada and their baby! Ohhhhhhh, it's gonna be so good!

2

Another friendship thing: my Wapak BFF comes back from vacation on Sunday! Finally. (Luckily we Skyped yesterday, so that will tide me over for the last couple days without her.)

3

We're kicking off the new youth ministry year on Wednesday! I'm not going to lie, it's not pure excitement... I'm also a little bit scatterbrained and nervous. But I know that once all the teens start walking through the doors, all the to-do lists and office work will be completely worth it! All that fades away, the adrenaline starts pumping, and I'm like GAME TIME. LET'S GO HOLY SPIRIT LET'S GO!

4

Spiritual direction! After a false start last year, it's for reals this time, hopefully. Again, nervous. But it's going to be good for me.
 

5

Labor day weekend! The action continues... a friend from Colorado is coming into town, and we're going to go visit all of our friends around Ohio! It's brilliant, really. Why aren't all holidays on Mondays? Anyway, it's basically going to be mini college friendship reunion time, so I'm psyched for that!
 

6

I'm on a roll in my kitchen: homemade granola, yogurt, and now, with the purchase of a food dehydrator from Aldi's, dried fruit all the time! Haven't busted out the bread maker yet, but it's coming. I'm also planning to swipe my family's strainer pot thingy, so that I can make and can applesauce without having to peel and core the apples first. OH! And did you know that if you freeze bananas and then blend them, it tastes kind of like ice cream? AMAZING. And healthy (unless you add chocolate syrup and coconut, like I did.) So basically, I'm looking forward to more fun kitchen time. As a friend of mine would say, #domesticdiva.
 

7

Since I mentioned food, I might as well mention its counterpart: I've actually been sticking with this exercise routine (all two weeks of it)! Although I never really look forward to working out, I've already noticed a difference in the way I feel. Plus, I'm improving! Mostly this means that I feel less like death (still like death, but less). But I've also noticed more discipline in my life as a whole, which is a pretty cool thing, too.

Risk. Change. Conflict. Ouch.

Ran across this article about leadership and change today! I think y'all should read it, whether or not you're in a leadership position. If you are, it will probably ring true to your experience and give you some good advice; and if you're not, it might help you understand your leaders a bit better, and so be a more constructive member of a team/company/etc. (believe me, if you can work well with others, you are high up on my list of favorite people!!).

This point, in particular, really stuck out to me:

"3. Leaders crave change more than most people do because they're, well, leaders. Your passion level is always going to be naturally and appropriately higher than most people's when it comes to change. Just know that's how you're wired and don't get discouraged too quickly if your passion for change is higher than others. You're the leader."

That really resonates with me, so it kinda made me feel better about the countless hours I spend thinking about changes that most people don't really care about... yeah. ;)

On the other hand, I had a moment this morning where I was on the receiving end of a potential change. For a minute, it knocked the wind out of me. Nothing entirely unexpected, but still, it's frustrating. It  messes with my plans and the way that I had decided on doing things... ouch. And actually more disconcerting to me, I know for a fact that I'm going to get stuck hearing everybody and their mother's opinions on the matter! Not a fun way to start Monday morning...

But as I pondered the whole situation more, I started thinking creatively and more positively about the change. In the span of a half an hour, I went from holding back tears to strategizing! How can we best empathize with people and do damage control, while still remaining positive and moving forward? How can we make this something that unites, instead of divides? And most importantly... Jesus, how can we become more holy through this? How can we use this as a teachable moment for more prayer, humility and dying to self? Please, help me put myself aside! (I tell y'all this not to be like, "oh look at me, I'm gonna play this off all cool despite how I feel," but just to say that grace really is present in the difficult situations you find yourself in.)

So I think that's my new rule: Katie, you have 30 minutes to be upset! Then, you need to get over yourself and be constructive.

In fact, that might not be a bad plan for leadership roles that I find myself in. (I'm thinking out loud here...) Let everyone in the affected group know what's going on, empathize with them, etc. But be very upfront about the fact that, after a little time to be upset, we have to put ourselves aside and work for the sake of something bigger than ourselves. There will be no room for complaining, gossiping or playing the blame game. (Bam!)

Leading in a way that fosters holiness... yikes. I think I'm going to be learning until the day I die.

3.It  Leaders crave change more than most people do because they’re, well, leaders. Your passion level is always going to be naturally and appropriately higher than most people’s when it comes to change. Just know that’s how you’re wired and don’t get discouraged too quickly if your passion for change is higher than others. You’re the leader. - See more at: http://careynieuwhof.com/2013/07/cheat-sheet-13-facts-about-change-many-leaders-dont-realize/#sthash.AegiecLP.dpuf

3. Leaders crave change more than most people do because they’re, well, leaders. Your passion level is always going to be naturally and appropriately higher than most people’s when it comes to change. Just know that’s how you’re wired and don’t get discouraged too quickly if your passion for change is higher than others. You’re the leader. - See more at: http://careynieuwhof.com/2013/07/cheat-sheet-13-facts-about-change-many-leaders-dont-realize/#sthash.AegiecLP.dpuf

On My Heart

Today, just some scattered things that are beautiful and that speak to my heart: 

~Pope Francis' August 11th Angelus address (for now, this is just an article about it. No English translation of the full thing yet... it usually takes a couple days to come out. But still, please read!).

~Some Fulton Sheen quotes from On Being Human:

"...He who made the heavens and lived for mankind spoke His tenderest love when His audience was one listener."

"...powerful enough to control the collective planets of the universe, and yet careful not to neglect the burden that weighed on a single heart."

"Everyone else is too weak to heal a broken heart. He alone can do it Who counts the stars."

"Those who have hope are like a boy with a kite. The kite may conceivably be so high in the clouds that it cannot be seen, but he who holds the string feels the tug of it."

~Two new songs by Audrey Assad. Her album isn't officially out until tomorrow, so no YouTube links to the actual music yet. But, lyrics:

You Speak

You liberate me
From my own noise and my own chaos
From the chains of a lesser love
You set me free

In the silence of the heart, You speak
In the silence of the heart, You speak
And it is there that I will know You
And You will know me
In the silence of the heart You speak
You speak

You satisfy me
'Til I am quiet and confident
In the work of the Spirit I cannot see

In the silence of the heart You speak


I Shall Not Want

From the love of my own comfort
From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me, O God

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me, O God
Deliver me, O God

And I shall not want
Oh, I shall not want
When I taste your goodness, I shall not want
When I taste your goodness, I shall not want

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me, O God
Deliver me, O God

And I shall not want...


Happy Monday, everybody!

Here we go!

Today, I started working out. For reals this time. Because I have accountability now... shoot.

I kid, I kid... it's actually kind of awesome! One of the core team members for our youth ministry is one of those super healthy fitness-type people, and she wants to start up an exercise group as a ministry in our parish. (Can I just say how cool our core team is? And how much I love hanging out with them, just doing random things as friends?) It's really sweet, she's putting a lot of thought into it, and I really hope it gets approved by our pastor/parish council... 

But in the meantime, she's getting me going. And it kicked my butt today. 

No, really. Like, I'm a freaking wimp. 

I'll spare you the details, like how I needed to lie down in the middle of the football field at one point, to prevent puking/fainting. Actually, I guess that was basically all the details... anyway. Yes, I am only in my 20's. But it's cool. Just like everything else in my life, it'll make a great story for a youth ministry talk someday, right? Perseverance, running the race, strength in our weaknesses, humility, etc. It's chock-full of spiritually significant themes. This is the plus side of working in ministry: you can take practically every random thing that's ever happened to you, and make it mean something! Sometimes we stretch it, I'll admit. But this one is actually pretty good!

This list is my favorite thing today. Hands down.

I think that's all. Basically, I'm just kind of excited to conquer something. So yeah, I'll just keep that in mind the next time I feel like death (aka Saturday). 

What Are We: Titanium or Glass?*

So yesterday, I was listening to this:

And then a little while later, I was listening to this:

Then I started thinking.

Fact: Dwight memes always help to illustrate the point.

Personally, I am not titanium! I'm not bulletproof, I do have things to lose... so please, don't fire away!

I'm much, much more like glass. Not that I'm a wimp, or that I can't be tough when I need to be. But my heart is fragile; it may shatter. I'm human! While we're all made to have a beautiful strength of soul, filled with God's grace, we are also weak, frail and vulnerable at times. We need each other - and that is a good thing. Can you imagine how prideful and cold our world would be if we were all truly self-sufficient and unbreakable? We would become isolated, turned in on ourselves, wrapped up in own little worlds. And that would be the opposite of love.

Even though it seems kind of backwards, it actually takes a certain amount of strength to admit weakness. It requires courage to take an honest look at yourself! Who benefits when we pretend to be titanium? No one, really. When you say that you're so strong that no one can hurt you, that you don't need anyone or anything, it's denying reality. Who benefits when you deny reality? Certainly not you! It's like going swimming in a lake of alligators, pretending that you're made of steel. Do you really think you're going to win out?

(I think that so many of the problems in our culture, by the way, come about when we don't live our lives according to reality. Contrary to popular belief, we don't decide our own reality! When we turn a blind eye to the way the world really is - and the way our hearts are actually, truly made - we're not doing ourselves a favor. At least, that's how a lot of my own problems happen! But that's a topic for another day.)

Still, the whole "titanium" thing is a tempting prospect, right? If I can play it off like I'm invincible, like whatever you do won't hurt me, then I have the upper hand (supposedly). If I protect my heart from you, you can't hurt me (or so we tell ourselves).

But as the commonly quoted C.S. Lewis said in The Four Loves:

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

He goes on:

"I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God's will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness. It is like hiding the talent in a napkin and for much the same reason.... Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become, even in the natural loves, more careful of our own happiness."

And then:

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

When all is said and done, our model is a God who didn't protect His heart (or His mother's) from being pierced. We have a God who wept, who looked with compassion on others, who knew how to be vulnerable and truly to love:

And if our God didn't feel the need to be titanium, why should we?


----------
*I feel like there are a lot of caveats that need to be made with this topic. I'm not justifying that you stay in emotionally unhealthy relationships, that you be a doormat to abuse, etc. If you need to get out of a bad situation, or if you need healing from something in the past, don't be afraid to seek out help! Call up your local church - you can meet with a priest who can advise you further. They should also have a list of good Christian counselors in your area. If it's a situation that requires civil authorities (you or someone else you know is in danger), don't be afraid to call your local police station. We are not made to be titanium, so it's okay to stop pretending that you're fine, if you're not.

Timehop Tuesday! (vol. 2)

As I wrote last week, I'm starting a new series of posts: Timehop Tuesdays! I'm going back in time to see the things that I cared enough about one or two years ago to put online. Were they worth it? You can be the judge.

I remember this first one very clearly! 

To be honest, it kind of ended up failing anyway... the camping part was fun, but then it rained on our Cedar Point day and we hardly got to ride any rides! Still, it happened, and I achieved a milestone in my youth ministry career: actually doing something.

I also remember this one quite distinctly:

All these first-year, post-college youth ministry moments really stick out in my memory. This one in particular was right after our Steubenville follow-up event! The other two youth ministers were like hey, Katie, you're not leading anything yet... wanna give a quick talk about what happened at Steubie, for the kids and parents who didn't go?

Sure thing! I was actually pretty pumped. I think I ended up talking a lot about one of the main Scriptures they used over the weekend: Jesus walking on water. I remember the phrase "get out of the boat!" came up a lot. All in all, fun times. During all the craziness of my first summer on the job, this tweet was proof that once in a while, I actually did stop to reflect on what was happening, and how blessed I was to have this new job.

I'll let you ponder this next one on your own:

And this fabulous gem:

St. Josemaria Escriva is great at kicking me into gear when I'm being a spiritual slacker, but this quote was actually pretty encouraging, since it came at a humbling time for me. After a year of being in this job, I was taking a good look at what I did and who I was, and it was very easy to focus in on all my faults and failures. Not a bad thing to do some honest self-evaluation... I appreciated the saintly encouragement, though!

Last but not least, here are some of my favorite re-tweets! My brothers often accuse me of being a "re-tweeter"... and it's totally true. But hey, I just want to pay tribute to the wit and wisdom of those who are cooler than me, that's all:

Tee hee, Catholic humor. On a more beautiful, meaningful note:

Also on the theme of your heart:

Mmmm. So, go ponder that for a while. We're done for today... adios!