What Are We: Titanium or Glass?*

So yesterday, I was listening to this:

And then a little while later, I was listening to this:

Then I started thinking.

Fact: Dwight memes always help to illustrate the point.

Personally, I am not titanium! I'm not bulletproof, I do have things to lose... so please, don't fire away!

I'm much, much more like glass. Not that I'm a wimp, or that I can't be tough when I need to be. But my heart is fragile; it may shatter. I'm human! While we're all made to have a beautiful strength of soul, filled with God's grace, we are also weak, frail and vulnerable at times. We need each other - and that is a good thing. Can you imagine how prideful and cold our world would be if we were all truly self-sufficient and unbreakable? We would become isolated, turned in on ourselves, wrapped up in own little worlds. And that would be the opposite of love.

Even though it seems kind of backwards, it actually takes a certain amount of strength to admit weakness. It requires courage to take an honest look at yourself! Who benefits when we pretend to be titanium? No one, really. When you say that you're so strong that no one can hurt you, that you don't need anyone or anything, it's denying reality. Who benefits when you deny reality? Certainly not you! It's like going swimming in a lake of alligators, pretending that you're made of steel. Do you really think you're going to win out?

(I think that so many of the problems in our culture, by the way, come about when we don't live our lives according to reality. Contrary to popular belief, we don't decide our own reality! When we turn a blind eye to the way the world really is - and the way our hearts are actually, truly made - we're not doing ourselves a favor. At least, that's how a lot of my own problems happen! But that's a topic for another day.)

Still, the whole "titanium" thing is a tempting prospect, right? If I can play it off like I'm invincible, like whatever you do won't hurt me, then I have the upper hand (supposedly). If I protect my heart from you, you can't hurt me (or so we tell ourselves).

But as the commonly quoted C.S. Lewis said in The Four Loves:

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

He goes on:

"I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God's will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness. It is like hiding the talent in a napkin and for much the same reason.... Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become, even in the natural loves, more careful of our own happiness."

And then:

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

When all is said and done, our model is a God who didn't protect His heart (or His mother's) from being pierced. We have a God who wept, who looked with compassion on others, who knew how to be vulnerable and truly to love:

And if our God didn't feel the need to be titanium, why should we?


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*I feel like there are a lot of caveats that need to be made with this topic. I'm not justifying that you stay in emotionally unhealthy relationships, that you be a doormat to abuse, etc. If you need to get out of a bad situation, or if you need healing from something in the past, don't be afraid to seek out help! Call up your local church - you can meet with a priest who can advise you further. They should also have a list of good Christian counselors in your area. If it's a situation that requires civil authorities (you or someone else you know is in danger), don't be afraid to call your local police station. We are not made to be titanium, so it's okay to stop pretending that you're fine, if you're not.