Catching Up...

Funny how it works... I make more time for people, and there is less time to blog! Not that I was doing much of it anyway, right? ;)

At any rate, it's time to catch you all up on what's been going on in my brain! Here are some things that have struck me over the last 10 days or so, in no particular order:

1) I discovered this address of Bl. John Paul II to the young people of New Zealand in 1986. So often, we (or maybe just I) automatically think of high school students whenever we talk about young people, youth ministry, etc. That's why I was surprised to learn, via some of my college classes, that World Youth Days were originally more for young adults - 20 somethings - than for teenagers! To this day, if I remember correctly, it's more of an American phenomenon to bring high school kids. At any rate, that's the perspective I was coming from while reading this particular address, although it wasn't give at a WYD. My Papa is talking to me! And in a much simpler style than I remember him using (maybe I just have read too many encyclicals, Love and Responsibility, etc., and not enough of his talks!). But, for lack of a better way to give high praise... it's awesome! He says things like "There is no place for selfishness – and no place for fear!" and "Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice." Bam.

2) Danielle Rose came out with a new album! Okay, seriously... I've been waiting (slightly impatiently). One of the songs jumped out at me right away, and it's still giving me food for thought and prayer, so I'll probably dedicate a full post to telling you about it. But for now, suffice it to say that the album is called "Culture of Life." The culture of life... one of my favorite things!! Now Audrey Assad just needs to come out with her new album, and I'll be happy. 

3) Speaking of music, I took some teens to Winter Jam this past Friday night. It was crazy - we didn't get back until a little after 2am! Cue my worried voice: "Uh, guys, call your parents and let them know we're just leaving Cincinnati... I can talk to them and let them know that we're really seriously going to be back that late... that you're telling them the truth... yeah." The teens kept wondering, half joking and half serious, whether they'll be pulled over by the cops for curfew once we got back to church and they had to drive home. But luckily, no one got in trouble and we all survived in one piece (although I think that sleep will be forever lost!). Either way, I've been listening to this song ever since I heard TobyMac perform it at the concert. I think it's a beautiful testimony to the humility we're all called to have: in ministry, but in every other part of our lives, as well. Basically, it's not about us; it's all about Him! "If You want to steal my show, I'll sit back and watch You go..."

I like to blast it in my car whilst driving down the freeway. Sometimes, you just need loud music, right? It makes me feel young. You can laugh all you want at that! But when you're either spending your time with teenagers (and you have to be the responsible one) or with the 60 year olds in the office (where you're trying to prove that you're a grown-up too), it feels good to be 23. Turn it up!!

4) Realistic vs. unrealistic expectations. Now, expectations aren't really a fun concept to dwell on, but sometimes it has to come up. What I'm about to say may sound jaded, but please don't take it that way: I'm learning, once again, that you can't put all your stock in a couple of people. It's not really fair to people to put too much pressure on them, either as volunteers or as friends. Even if they're not feeling overburdened, it's not a healthy move (in leadership or in your personal life) to assume that people always understand what you're trying to get across, always read your emails, have the same priorities as you, etc. Not cool, Robert Frost! (See my post with the kid president video, if you don't understand this reference... your life is slightly deprived if you haven't watched that video yet!). Now like I said, I'm not jaded. I think it's a positive realization! It's freeing to see reality as it is, vs. how I'm trying to create it. I'm not talking about having low expectations (because then people won't aim for awesomeness), but about being realistic. I'm thinking of it as calling others on to greatness, but not insanity!

5) Slightly related, but different: it's been several months now, but off and on I've been reflecting on the concept of being gracious to others. I feel like there's kind of a cool, stealthy ninja art to helping others not to feel too badly about their weaknesses, taking it upon yourself to kind of secretly deal with the ramifications, not complaining about it to others, not even casually bringing it up in conversation, putting just a little extra work in to avoid drawing attention to them, etc. Actually, I'm slightly relieved to remember that if we are gracious with others, we can also expect God to be gracious and merciful to us (check out Monday's Gospel reading)! Jesus knows that I need Him to take that approach with me, personally! I'm slightly biased, as usual, but I think St. Therese was just the greatest at this! Yes, it's true: she is my cool, stealthy ninja saint inspiration. Of course, there are always some things that we can't cover up, and can't be gracious about... we simply have to confront certain issues. However, even beyond the bigger things, there are the little mistakes and pin-pricks of every day.

6) Adopt a cardinal! Just do it!

7) I pulled out an old journal tonight to find something specific. But in looking for it, I found something that I haven't thought about for quite a while: some reflections that I had after reading A Severe Mercy. I read it over Christmas break my senior year, when I was about to go into my last semester at Franciscan, and wrote:

"Much of what I've experienced and thought about today can be put in terms of 'severe mercy,' like C.S. Lewis spoke of in Sheldon Vanauken's book. A severe mercy - not words that you'd necessarily put together at first. But I think I've realized what a strong, ardent, passionate, stop-at-nothing love that that bespeaks. Lord, You know how jealous and selfish I can be, and so everything You do in my life is to draw me closer to You. Everything. A severe mercy. 'I come to cast fire on the earth; and would that it were already kindled!' (Luke 12:49). 'If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.' (Luke 9:23-24). 'Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' (Luke 5:4). A severe mercy... a fierce love. I feel and see it so clearly in the Gospels, and in my own life. It's burning, purifying. And yet, not demanding, in a mean kind of way. Still patient and gentle - it's even the stronger for that, even the fiercer, for it is much stronger in patience and gentleness with me than I am with myself! Severe, but it is tender enough to melt my heart.

"So thank You... thank You for this love that will stop at nothing to completely win my heart. You pull me away from people and places I love, even as You orchestrated the events in the author's life, and in the Apostles' lives, etc.... You detach me, because You know that I will hold back, that I won't go all-out in following Your plans, that I cling to fear and self-pity..."

Jesus, over two years later, I still want to say it: thank You for stopping at nothing to completely win my heart.

Until next time, dear readers! Pax. By the way, pray for our high school retreat this weekend!

Lent!

Subtitle: the top 10 (or however many I come up with) reasons that I'm pretty darn excited for this Lent!

1) Because I get to reflect on crucified Love. 
You know, I was actually very glad that Valentine's Day was the day after Ash Wednesday! Cue the murmurs and whispers: is she just bitter because she doesn't have a boyfriend? Does she want to spoil everyone's fun? NO! It was beautiful to me, because I was able to better connect the concepts of both sacrifice and love in my mind and my heart. Just like in real life, they were literally side by side!

2) Communio!
This Lent, I feel called to spend more time in community. Living alone can sometimes be depressing, and it's tempting to retreat within myself even more at times... which has the effect of a downward spiral. You may have picked up on it lately, but the book I just finished reading on the Trinity has knocked some sense into me in this arena! So whether I'm putting myself more in touch with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit through prayer (the community par excellence!), or spending more time with people (in person, on the phone, through letters or emails, or even just working on gifts or projects that are not for myself), I'm going outside myself this Lent.

3) Spiritual hunger >>>> physical hunger
Youth culture lesson time! So, the "kids these days" are all using greater than (>) and less than (<) signs in their Facebook statuses and tweets, in massive quantities. As an example, I got mentioned in a tweet the other day that said (and I quote):

"@katieschuerger 's tweets>>>>"

When I asked her what it meant, she explained that they were a bunch of "greater than" signs. While I was super flattered, I was super confused. Greater than... what? Apparently, as I found, you don't have to actually be comparing two things. So, while the mathematical equation says that my tweets are greater than uh, nothing... she actually meant that she really likes them. Dude, I think I'm getting old...

That was a super long, unnecessary preface (but you learned something! Well, maybe). All I wanted to say is this: the fasting and sacrificing of Lent points to a greater reality... spiritual hunger! When it's Ash Wednesday and my tummy is a little rumbly, it reminds me that there are more important things than physical food. When I'm bored, I don't need to go to the refrigerator - I need to go to prayer!

4. It's an opportunity that I know I will force myself to take!
Let's be honest - I have lots of good intentions that pop up all year long, and then fade away in a day or two. But Lent is a more "official" time to work on these things. In other words, there's a much better chance of me actually following through during these 40 days than any of the other 325 days of the year! And maybe - just maybe - it will help me form the discipline to follow through a little more during those other days.


Okay, so I only got to number four. But hey, I'm still pretty excited! How about you... are you pumped for the growing pains of Lent? Why or why not?

The "Waste" of Love

I love to read! Unfortunately, I have this problem: I keep beginning books, reading them partway, and never finishing them! One girl in our youth ministry program has taken it upon herself to hold me accountable and rid me of this tendency (which really is so amusing and endearing to me!). However, she might as well give up, because once you get into the range of "reading" 15+ books at the same time, there is probably no return. (On the other hand, no one is a lost cause in Christ, so perhaps there is hope for me still.)

Yet obviously I'm not actually reading them all simultaneously (although that would be a funny sight!). I'm just reading halves and quarters and three-quarters of various books, then getting distracted by other books. At the moment though, I'm quite proud of myself! I'm focusing on two books right now, and the payoff has been enormous. They're rocking my socks - actually, they're rocking my soul.

The first is the Fr. Michael Gaitley book on the Trinity that I keep referencing. The other one is about my favorite saint of all time:

Reading this one has been a long time coming - basically, since I found out that it was published (as I say this, though, I'm consulting the front of the book. It says copyright 2012... it must just feel like a long time, when there's a book out there about your favorite saint from one of your favorite writers that you haven't read yet!).

Sometimes, I can get to the point of thinking that no one is going to have a fresh insight on Therese; since everyone seems to love her and relate to her so much, there are a plethora of books on her. Then you've got to sift through the authors who really do know her life, her spirituality, her writings, etc., versus the people who think they get her, but totally miss the mark (it usually comes in the form of trying to push their own agendas onto her, such as, "she had a repressed desire to be a priest - oh what a sexist, sexist Church!"). However, I knew that it would be different with Sheen! So when I saw a paperback version in the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception bookstore in D.C. a couple of weeks ago, I had to snatch it up! My entire "justification" for buying it is that I've only seen it in hardcover so far, which is more expensive (just roll with it...).

As a total and complete side note, you know that you have a fabulous spiritual friend when you both go into said bookstore, buy 4-5 books each, can't wait to show each other... and 3 of them are the exact same books. Two of which, of course, are this St. Therese book and the Fr. Gaitley book (and the third being a Scriptural rosary book). Win!

At any rate, back to business! The way that Fulton Sheen puts things - anything, really - is so wonderful and good for my soul! That's an understatement, really (if you need convincing, I can refer you to a Sheen-loving friend of mine). And with this book, it's no different. You really should just read it for yourself; but just for fun, here are a couple of things he said that particularly spoke to me during my holy hour tonight:

"After all, the reason we are tired in body is because we are already tired in mind. We have no love. The fires have gone out. We are cinders, burnt out cinders floating in the immensity of space and time. And here is a young girl. It is almost as if she is locked up in a gilded cage, absolutely straining at the leash in order to become a missionary. Why? Simply because she loved!"

Also:

"You'll fall in love. Then you'll discipline yourself. Then you'll be full of zeal. Then when the Lord's work is to be done, you'll do it. And when we're not in love, we're tired, and we're exhausted. Because she was full of love, the particular action that appealed to her was that of the soldier and the missionary. This is the new vision of sanctity. It needs to be revived in our day."

How true!! I think about the times that I am most exhausted - in a negative sense, the sense of being burned out - and I realize how little I am praying, how little I am loving! On the other hand, we have the saints. They spend themselves totally for God's sake, pour themselves out for Him - yet they want more!

"You read this book to receive strength, but then when you have received it, you'll have to spend it. As you waste your life, then you'll become richer and richer in the Kingdom of God."

Which reminds me... less than one week until Lent! It's a good time to start thinking and praying about what God wants you to do during this time, if you haven't already (personally, I'm a slacker/procrastinator, so I can always use a reminder, myself!).

At any rate, I hear St. Therese and Fulton Sheen calling to me: pray! "Waste" your time with Jesus, and you won't feel so exhausted. And spend yourself in service to others. "Waste" your time on them, for no reason other than love!

The antidote to burning out? It's the beautiful "waste" of love.

Dude.

Today is just one of those days where I'm so excited! I'm excited about Jesus, ministry, the immense dignity of the human person, relationships that lead to Jesus, working with youth, the goodness of parish life... basically, I'm pretty jazzed up about everything right now!

It's partially a la some fabulous conversations with a dear friend here, partially some talks from the ReBuild My Church youth ministry conference archives, partially from the Scriptures and saint feasts we've had lately, partially the sunshine outside, and also partially the fruit of some spiritual reading. Probably a few other things thrown in the mix, too... coughicedcoffeecoughcough. And a delicious healthy salad! Oh, and of course the lovely coworker that brought me the coughcoughicedcoffeecoughcough.

But mostly, this is just one of those lovely little gifts from God that keeps me going... thank you, Jesus! Today is so glorious.

One of the most fabulous things about this? Today is a Wednesday, which means it's a ministry day here in western, semi-rural Ohio... look out people, I'm about to ooze the joy of the Lord all over you!

Nothing to Pray, Nothing to Say

I've recently come to this realization: if I don't take time to pray, I really have nothing worthwhile to say. If I don't take time to be with the Word, then my own little words really have no substance behind them.

Not that everything you say has to be super deep and thought-provoking... but I don't think we're in danger of that as a society. We're much more likely to make a lot of noise, without really ever saying anything. But even beyond that, I don't think we can even be properly light-hearted without prayer. "The joy of the Lord will be your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10), right? Without Jesus, we take ourselves wayyyyyyyyyyy too seriously!

As always, the answer is Jesus. So stop reading my silly little blog, and spend some time with the Lord and Giver of life!

"I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly." -John 10:10