Male and Female He Created Them (and I'm the second one, so let's talk about that)

Sometimes, when you're Catholic, you get excited by things that most people think are really weird. And yesterday, I discovered one of them! I was alive (in the womb) when Blessed John Paul II wrote Mulieris Dignitatem: On the Dignity and Vocation of Women! I'm not going to lie, that makes me feel pretty special. He was writing it to me - little pre-birth me - I just didn't know it yet! But even at that point in my life, God had given me the dignity and vocation of womanhood... and he saw that it was good.

Next, I learned that JPII wrote that apostolic letter at the conclusion of the Marian year he had declared, so bonus points... I was alive during the Marian year, too! #happyCatholicgirlsigh. So I read Mulieris Dignitatem, and then, in a bit of google searching... I discovered his Letter to Women in 1995! #doublehiphiphooray #moreJPIIismorebetter

I'll be totally honest: I can't always handle reading about "Catholic womanhood." It's kind of a touchy subject, yes? Mention the Catholic Church + women, and you'll get all sorts of crazy reactions... both outside the Church and in. From debates about skirts to stay-at-home moms to people telling me I'm a beautiful princess and I don't need makeup or whatever, it's not always my favorite topic.

 (Plus, saying "femininity" is like trying to say "anemone.")

But this is JPII we're talking about here. My Papa! And it's so, so good. So it's not really true that I don't like reading "girl stuff"; whenever I find something that actually speaks to my feminine heart in a real and genuine way, I truly do love to soak it in! It's the counterfeits that make me grumpy.

In honor of these glorious discoveries, and in honor of Saturday (Mary's day!), I present to you a list of some of my favorite books, talks and blogs on being authentically feminine. I promise, none of these are the "girl power," man-bashing type, because I despise that attitude (tension between men and women is a product of the fall, fo' sho'). I also promise that they are not the type that are going to make you feel horrible about yourself and like you're not really feminine, because you don't wear skirts every day/you work outside the home/you have short hair/fill-in-the-blank with your pet peeve here. It's not a complete list by any means; I'm probably forgetting lots of other soul-enriching goodness that I would also recommend to you. (Feel free to comment with your own favorites!)

Books:
~ The World's First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Ven. Fulton J. Sheen
~ The Catholic Girl's Survival Guide for the Single Years by Emily Stimpson
~ Woman in Love by Katie Hartfiel
~ My Sisters the Saints by Colleen Carroll Campbell
~ Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter (edited by Hallie Lord)
~ Men, Women and the Mystery of Love by Edward Sri (basically, the easier-to-chew version of Love and Responsibility)
~ Story of a Soul by St. Therese (my favorite!! I had to include her. If you want to read the words of a woman who was truly in love with Jesus Christ as her spouse, then read it.)

Talks:
~ Why Do Women Do That? by Lisa Cotter (this is actually a talk given to men, but I found it super helpful in understanding myself!)
~ The Ache of Singlehood and Dating by Jackie Francois (I'm sorry that the sound quality isn't the greatest on this video... but watch it anyway! Basically, anything Jackie says is gold. She and her fiance have a blog, too!)

Blogs:
~ The Evangelista by Christina Grace
~ Verily (by the staff of the Verily magazine)
~ Worthy of Agape by Amanda Mortus (she also just published a book on the same topic!)
~ Seraphic Singles by Dorothy Cummings

I'll be totally upfront, in that several of those appeal mainly to single young women. But hey, that's what I am at the moment, so that's what I like.

I'm kind of excited about my next related read; I'm about to dive into the essays of Edith Stein (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross)! I'll let you know how it goes...

And last but not least, I'll leave you with two lovely, thought-provoking, potentially tear-jerking quotes from our Polish Papa:

"Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic." -Letter of Pope John Paul II to Women, 1995

Therefore the Church gives thanks for each and every woman: for mothers, for sisters, for wives; for women consecrated to God in virginity; for women dedicated to the many human beings who await the gratuitous love of another person; for women who watch over the human persons in the family, which is the fundamental sign of the human community; for women who work professionally, and who at times are burdened by a great social responsibility; for "perfect" women and for "weak" women - for all women as they have come forth from the heart of God in all the beauty and richness of their femininity; as they have been embraced by his eternal love; as, together with men, they are pilgrims on this earth, which is the temporal "homeland" of all people and is transformed sometimes into a "valley of tears"; as they assume, together with men, a common responsibility for the destiny of humanity according to daily necessities and according to that definitive destiny which the human family has in God himself, in the bosom of the ineffable Trinity." -Mulieris Dignitatem

Catching Up...

Funny how it works... I make more time for people, and there is less time to blog! Not that I was doing much of it anyway, right? ;)

At any rate, it's time to catch you all up on what's been going on in my brain! Here are some things that have struck me over the last 10 days or so, in no particular order:

1) I discovered this address of Bl. John Paul II to the young people of New Zealand in 1986. So often, we (or maybe just I) automatically think of high school students whenever we talk about young people, youth ministry, etc. That's why I was surprised to learn, via some of my college classes, that World Youth Days were originally more for young adults - 20 somethings - than for teenagers! To this day, if I remember correctly, it's more of an American phenomenon to bring high school kids. At any rate, that's the perspective I was coming from while reading this particular address, although it wasn't give at a WYD. My Papa is talking to me! And in a much simpler style than I remember him using (maybe I just have read too many encyclicals, Love and Responsibility, etc., and not enough of his talks!). But, for lack of a better way to give high praise... it's awesome! He says things like "There is no place for selfishness – and no place for fear!" and "Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice." Bam.

2) Danielle Rose came out with a new album! Okay, seriously... I've been waiting (slightly impatiently). One of the songs jumped out at me right away, and it's still giving me food for thought and prayer, so I'll probably dedicate a full post to telling you about it. But for now, suffice it to say that the album is called "Culture of Life." The culture of life... one of my favorite things!! Now Audrey Assad just needs to come out with her new album, and I'll be happy. 

3) Speaking of music, I took some teens to Winter Jam this past Friday night. It was crazy - we didn't get back until a little after 2am! Cue my worried voice: "Uh, guys, call your parents and let them know we're just leaving Cincinnati... I can talk to them and let them know that we're really seriously going to be back that late... that you're telling them the truth... yeah." The teens kept wondering, half joking and half serious, whether they'll be pulled over by the cops for curfew once we got back to church and they had to drive home. But luckily, no one got in trouble and we all survived in one piece (although I think that sleep will be forever lost!). Either way, I've been listening to this song ever since I heard TobyMac perform it at the concert. I think it's a beautiful testimony to the humility we're all called to have: in ministry, but in every other part of our lives, as well. Basically, it's not about us; it's all about Him! "If You want to steal my show, I'll sit back and watch You go..."

I like to blast it in my car whilst driving down the freeway. Sometimes, you just need loud music, right? It makes me feel young. You can laugh all you want at that! But when you're either spending your time with teenagers (and you have to be the responsible one) or with the 60 year olds in the office (where you're trying to prove that you're a grown-up too), it feels good to be 23. Turn it up!!

4) Realistic vs. unrealistic expectations. Now, expectations aren't really a fun concept to dwell on, but sometimes it has to come up. What I'm about to say may sound jaded, but please don't take it that way: I'm learning, once again, that you can't put all your stock in a couple of people. It's not really fair to people to put too much pressure on them, either as volunteers or as friends. Even if they're not feeling overburdened, it's not a healthy move (in leadership or in your personal life) to assume that people always understand what you're trying to get across, always read your emails, have the same priorities as you, etc. Not cool, Robert Frost! (See my post with the kid president video, if you don't understand this reference... your life is slightly deprived if you haven't watched that video yet!). Now like I said, I'm not jaded. I think it's a positive realization! It's freeing to see reality as it is, vs. how I'm trying to create it. I'm not talking about having low expectations (because then people won't aim for awesomeness), but about being realistic. I'm thinking of it as calling others on to greatness, but not insanity!

5) Slightly related, but different: it's been several months now, but off and on I've been reflecting on the concept of being gracious to others. I feel like there's kind of a cool, stealthy ninja art to helping others not to feel too badly about their weaknesses, taking it upon yourself to kind of secretly deal with the ramifications, not complaining about it to others, not even casually bringing it up in conversation, putting just a little extra work in to avoid drawing attention to them, etc. Actually, I'm slightly relieved to remember that if we are gracious with others, we can also expect God to be gracious and merciful to us (check out Monday's Gospel reading)! Jesus knows that I need Him to take that approach with me, personally! I'm slightly biased, as usual, but I think St. Therese was just the greatest at this! Yes, it's true: she is my cool, stealthy ninja saint inspiration. Of course, there are always some things that we can't cover up, and can't be gracious about... we simply have to confront certain issues. However, even beyond the bigger things, there are the little mistakes and pin-pricks of every day.

6) Adopt a cardinal! Just do it!

7) I pulled out an old journal tonight to find something specific. But in looking for it, I found something that I haven't thought about for quite a while: some reflections that I had after reading A Severe Mercy. I read it over Christmas break my senior year, when I was about to go into my last semester at Franciscan, and wrote:

"Much of what I've experienced and thought about today can be put in terms of 'severe mercy,' like C.S. Lewis spoke of in Sheldon Vanauken's book. A severe mercy - not words that you'd necessarily put together at first. But I think I've realized what a strong, ardent, passionate, stop-at-nothing love that that bespeaks. Lord, You know how jealous and selfish I can be, and so everything You do in my life is to draw me closer to You. Everything. A severe mercy. 'I come to cast fire on the earth; and would that it were already kindled!' (Luke 12:49). 'If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake, he will save it.' (Luke 9:23-24). 'Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' (Luke 5:4). A severe mercy... a fierce love. I feel and see it so clearly in the Gospels, and in my own life. It's burning, purifying. And yet, not demanding, in a mean kind of way. Still patient and gentle - it's even the stronger for that, even the fiercer, for it is much stronger in patience and gentleness with me than I am with myself! Severe, but it is tender enough to melt my heart.

"So thank You... thank You for this love that will stop at nothing to completely win my heart. You pull me away from people and places I love, even as You orchestrated the events in the author's life, and in the Apostles' lives, etc.... You detach me, because You know that I will hold back, that I won't go all-out in following Your plans, that I cling to fear and self-pity..."

Jesus, over two years later, I still want to say it: thank You for stopping at nothing to completely win my heart.

Until next time, dear readers! Pax. By the way, pray for our high school retreat this weekend!

Beauty and the "Being Incomprehensible to Himself"

My aunt and uncle recently took my family to see a theatrical production of "Beauty and the Beast" in Cleveland. I love theater, especially musical theater; I also love my family, so I had a ball! My family used to call me "Belle" all the time, due to my tendency to walk around the house with a book. I never did run into anything, like my parents thought I would...

Like the typical movie-turned-musical, or vice-versa, the musical theater version of "Beauty and the Beast" has songs that are not in the movie. For instance, this little gem popped up on my iPod today:

As I munched on my breakfast, I pondered this song, and the musical as a whole. When I saw it a few weeks ago, I flippantly asked my sister, "Why does the Beast have to be loved in return? Not fair, that's not his fault if she doesn't!" But today, it dawned on me: I'm looking at this as a cold, scientific equation. Beast loves Belle + Belle loves Beast = happy day for Beast and servants! (This is odd, because I am not the scientific/mathematical type... but anyway.)

But it's not about an equation - it's about the transformational power of love. Bam.

Although I'm sure I knew this on some level, it was kind of a revelation to me. The Beast truly is beastly, inside and out, because he does not know how to love and be loved. As he learns to love Belle, and as she loves him back, something amazing happens in his heart, which is then reflected in his exterior appearance as the spell is finally broken (as I contemplate it now, it's kind of sacramental. But I won't get into that now... anyway...).

Shocker: Blessed John Paul II totally breaks this down. Something like this:

"Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it." (Redemptor Hominis 10)

The Beast is so beastly because he is lacking the main thing that humanizes us, the image of God Himself: love. And this appears to be a two-way street. Like JPII says, there's something about having love "revealed" to us, about the "encounter," that we need if we are to be truly human. Otherwise, he is "a being that is incomprehensible for himself" - a beast. But notice that JPII describes love in reciprocal terms. You can't reveal something to yourself, or encounter your own love - you need a person who loves you.

Of course the Beast cannot force Belle to love him. But how can he "participate intimately" in love, unless there is someone to participate with?

And if there isn't, he will remain forever [cue dramatic voice]... a Beast. A being whose "life is senseless"... until Belle comes along and gives him the opportunity for a total transformation of heart! Ahhhhhhhhhh, I'm getting goosebumps!

Caveats on this whole thing (I'm a catechist, so I have to throw these out there): of course as Catholics, we don't believe that we need to find human romance in order to fill the void in our hearts - we can only be fully satisfied by God. Yet, we are made for communion with each other, and self-sacrificial love. But we also believe in priestly and religious vocations, which incorporate this need in a different way! Also, neither I or JPII are nixing "love your enemies" - we love people who don't love us back, but we do have a real human need to be loved back by someone.

At any rate, I'm really enjoying reflecting on this - it's all still a little foggy in my head, though, so I'd love to hear your ideas, too! Why does Belle have to love the Beast in return... do you have a deeper insight (or any other thoughts about "Beauty and the Beast," or fairy tales, or the transformational power of love)? Am I looking too deeply into this? Somehow, I don't think G.K. Chesterton would think so, according to this essay he wrote (I love it, particularly about the "arbitrary" fairy tale rules... and I think he may have some insights for my questions, what do you think?): http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/introduction/gkchesterton.html

"No pain could be deeper
No life could be cheaper
No point anymore, if I can't love her
No spirit could win me
No hope left within me
Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free
But it's not to be
If I can't love her
Let the world be done with me."

And oh, side note: in the musical version, the servants-turned-household-items discuss why it was indeed fair for them to be changed from into non-humans as well. They decide that they were partially responsible for allowing their Master to be such a selfish brat, essentially enabling him. I was intrigued - I had never thought about that before!