Little (and Loving it)

So... super excited about this!

#understatement

We have a Papa! I feel like I can just be a little girl again, because he's going to take care of me. Yay! I'm especially excited to start soaking up everything that he tells us (probably more intentionally than I ever did with Benedict. I feel like I'm in an endless game of catch-up with all the riches that he gave the Church... but in a good way!). 

Today, I got to pondering all of this awesome Pope-ness, and a couple of things dawned on me. So often, I can only see my mistakes, my failures, my weaknesses, my sins. While it's not easy for anyone, I think there can be an extra level of torment present when you're involved in a ministry. Not only do I do things to screw up my own life, and those of my family and friends; I also am potentially mis-directing and failing to reach an entire population (large or small) who are desperately in need of Jesus.

Oy.

But before you start wallowing along with me, here is the beautiful, joyful reality of the matter: we are too little to mess up God's plans! A good friend of mine was visiting over the weekend, and we had a super blessed conversation about this (one of those fabulous, God-is-definitely-speaking-to-me-through-you conversations, if you know what I mean). The bottom line is that yes, I screw things up. But God can handle that! I'm absurd, and putting waaaayyyy too much importance on myself, if I think that I can singlehandedly wreck the plans of the Alpha and the Omega. Therefore, if I don't use the exact perfect analogy in a teaching, young people can still love Jesus! If I leave a room too messy and someone is (justifiably) unhappy with me, they aren't going to leave the Church. If I talk too fast and don't make sense 100% of the time, the entire volunteer team is not going to quit on me. And even when my sins abound, his grace abounds all the more (see Romans 5:20).

I just have to smile when I realize how little I am. I really shouldn't worry so much!

I'm learning from the best!

I'm not trying to justify my dumb mistakes, poor decisions, or the times I give in to temptation. It's all stuff I need to work on - and areas where I need to let the Holy Spirit work on me. I also do think that we can drive people from Christ, if we are not reflecting him, particularly those of us who take on certain roles in the Church (I seem to recall a Scripture verse about a millstone being tied around my neck??). The clergy abuse scandals, unfortunately, are the first thing that come to the minds of some people when they hear the words "Catholic Church." I get that.

However... if God calls you to something, he knows what he's about. He knows you - sins, failings, and all! And he already had that built into the plan. Not because he wants us to screw up, but because he's bigger than that. Just take some of those not-so-holy popes from our history: even though God wanted them to be holy and awesome, of course, he was still able to protect the Church and keep us rooted in the truth when they flopped. Even when the captains were corrupt, they didn't sink the ship!

So while we're talking about all this, we should definitely pray for Pope Francis. I get freaked out by the responsibility of being a youth minister in a small parish; but it kinda puts it all in perspective, when I realize that I'm not in charge of the universal Church, you know? But on the bright side, even Blessed Pope John XXIII used to tell Jesus at night, "It's your Church, Lord... I'm going to bed!" Pope Francis is a child of God too, with a fabulous heavenly Father to watch over him and take care of him. He's also allowed to be little!

So whether it's your job, your ministry, your relationships, etc., do the best you can on the human end of things. Don't make excuses, don't slack - put in a full day's work. But then entrust it to our heavenly Papa, whose grace will do the rest. Be at ease! We are simply not big enough to screw up everything and everyone, permanently (we do think in those extremes sometimes, don't we?). Let's not give ourselves so much credit! Jesus can handle it.

O blood and water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy for us, I trust in You.

My daughter, why are you giving in to thoughts of fear? I answered, "O Lord, You know why." And He said, Why? "This work frightens me. You know I am incapable of carrying it out..."


Do not fear; I will not leave you alone. Do whatever you can in this matter; I will accomplish everything that is lacking in you. You know what is within your power to do; do that. The Lord looked on me with great kindness; I thought I would die for joy under that gaze.

-excerpted from the Diary of St. Faustina

(paragraph 881)